To connect with others is to expand yourself

To connect with others is to expand yourself

Written by After5 Member & Contributor: Corien Stakenkamp 

Corien joined After5 in Amsterdam to connect with like-minded women, believing that openness to meeting people from diverse backgrounds and embracing new experiences not only leads to meaningful friendships but is also a powerful way to grow and expand one's perspective.

As a lover of culture, I find joy not only in sampling local cuisine or admiring architecture but also in connecting with people from different backgrounds. I believe in the power of curiosity about others rather than looking the other way. 

As a writer and journalist, my ambition is to document the beauty of the world through connections, stories, and the exploration of cities and cultures. Every person has a unique story to tell, which is why I love interviewing people. Through open-ended questions, I learn how others experience and perceive the world. Some stories are entirely different from anything I’ve known, but documenting them and having these conversations creates a powerful bond. One person might love their city and football club so deeply that they write songs about it, while another might donate wigs to help women with cancer feel like themselves again. Being curious about others’ lives reveals these unique stories.

Vulnerability

These days, people rarely take the time to be curious about one another. We assume we know it all, partly because of the internet, and we tend to judge quickly based on first impressions. Someone who appears foreign and doesn’t speak the language may actually be eager to learn it and connect with the local community. Another woman might seem to have it all—a successful career, a polished appearance—but may live alone and feel lonely. By simply being open, we create more space for understanding. Research even shows that vulnerability brings people closer together.

 Friends from Afar

Some of my closest friends come from different cultures, and it’s amazing how we connected despite language barriers, different upbringings, and unique life experiences. I met one friend from Portugal while studying to become a dietitian. She seemed confident and articulate, while I was often reserved. After we attended a party together, she invited me over for dinner—a gesture I might never have initiated. Nearly ten years later, we talk weekly, and I consider her one of my closest friends. We try to see each other whenever we can. The first time I visited her was when she was still living in Lisbon with her parents. I felt so welcome! I tried so many traditional Portuguese foods and drinks, but most of all, I experienced their culture up close. Now that she lives in the UK, I can see how her surroundings have influenced her in cultural ways. That is the beauty of opening yourself up.

Another friend, who’s French, I met while working as a Tour Director for a language school. We were both assigned to the same tour and had to work together. Initially, I kept my distance, but as we discovered shared interests, we bonded over drinks and conversation. After those fourteen days traveling through Europe with 64 Americans, we returned home—she to Amsterdam, where she lived, and I to Nijmegen. Instantly, I missed her, and we began texting almost daily, meeting up in both of our cities. Now she lives back in Bordeaux, but I managed to visit her last year, and it was amazing to see where she grew up. Once again, I experienced the local culture firsthand.

The Magic of Like-Minded Connections

These friendships have broadened my world, and I am forever grateful for them. They inspire me and remind me that no matter where you’re from, connection and learning from each other are always possible. The magic that happens when you connect with a like-minded person is extraordinary.

After5
I had an evening with like-minded women from different backgrounds. After5 organised this evening where I met up with five other different women for a drink. To be honest, I was a bit nervous. It was like I had a blind date, but now with five women. After a drink and a joke we opened up towards each other and I felt amazed by all the stories. Every single one of them had something special and unique. It felt like we were hyping each other up and supporting each other. An experience I will never forget! Soon I will meet up with someone through After5 Alike and I'm so curious about her story, if we click and share some of the same interests. To be able to connect with people you maybe normally wouldn't cross paths with is mind-stimulating and world-broadening. So go out of your bubble! 


About Corien Stakenkamp

Corien Stakenkamp, 30, is an After5 Member and Contributor who first joined us in Amsterdam. Originally from the eastern Netherlands, Corien brings her curiosity and passion for connection into both her personal and professional life. Currently, she works as a web editor for Theater.nl, where she applies her expertise in digital content. An avid explorer, Corien loves discovering new places, meeting people from all walks of life, and sharing her enthusiasm for food and wine.

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